“I Never Imagined That We’d Ever Have A President Like This” – Jimmy Kimmel

The band plays. The lights shine. Stephen Colbert greets the audience, his tone warm:

“Hey, everybody! We’re back with a national treasure, Mr. James Kimmel from ABC.”

He turns to Jimmy Kimmel, reflecting on his 22 years as host of “Jimmy Kimmel Live,”
“You premiered in 2003. After everything that’s happened, do you find yourself appreciating it more?”

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Kimmel nods, sincere.
“Yes, definitely. Not just the job—the job is great. Being able to put on a show every day means something. I did radio for 12 years before this, so I’ve always been in this daily show world. At home, nobody listens to what I say, but here, I get to speak to an audience. That became clear on day two—no more listening to me at home!”

He grows serious.
“But the whole staff—everybody was really scared and bummed, like your staff. It’s terrible what happened. It’s such a shame. You guys do such a great show. People love this show.”

The audience applauds.

Colbert shares his own feelings.
“To me—and I’m sure you feel the same way—I’ll miss doing the show. But this is the greatest group of people I’ve ever worked with. It took 20 years to put this team together, and I’m honored to be one of them.”

Kimmel smiles.
“Can I tell you something about your staff? You have a great staff, and your writers are absolutely fantastic. I mean that. I’m not just saying it because we’re on TV. I hope you know I think you’re a great person. But the first ten members of your staff came right up to me and said, ‘I will leave today if you hire me.’”

Colbert laughs.
“As well they should. Matter of fact, are you hiring? I’m available in June. I’ll be Guillermo’s sidekick if that’s okay!”

They reminisce about Kimmel’s early days as a radio disc jockey.

Colbert asks, “When you were spinning platters and making banter, did you ever think the President of the United States would be celebrating your unemployment?”

The crowd boos. Kimmel shakes his head.
“I mean, that son of a bitch.”

Colbert adds, “Mr. Sandoval—bitch son of a—”

Kimmel continues,
“I never thought we’d have a president like this. I hope we don’t have another president like this again. I didn’t imagine there’d ever be a situation where the president of our country was celebrating hundreds of Americans losing their jobs. Someone who took pleasure in that. That, to me, is the absolute opposite of what a leader of this country is supposed to be.”

The audience erupts in applause.

Colbert affirms, “Hear, hear. We have to take another break. We’ll be right back with more Jimmy Kimmel, everybody. Stick around.”