Keanu Reeves – the beloved star of The Matrix and John Wick – just became the latest victim on Zach Galifianakis’s infamous talk show Between Two Ferns with Zach Galifianakis, streaming on Netflix Is A Joke. As expected, the “interview” turned into a savage roast packed with awkward questions, absurd jokes, and Keanu’s trademark calm.

Right from the opening, Zach set the tone by repeating Keanu’s name over and over:

“Keanu, Keanu, Keanu Reeves, Keanu Reeves…”

Then came the first jab:

“On a scale of 1 to 100, how many words do you know? 50? 75? Maybe just 18?”

And he didn’t stop there:

“Is it frustrating to have people think you’re a complete bozo, when the truth is you’re just a man with below-average intelligence?”

Keanu, cool as ever, smirked and replied:

“Right now I’m acting like this is fun. How am I doing?”

Scars, “Peen,” and The Lake House Joke

When Zach brought up Keanu’s motorcycle accident scar, the actor gave a serious answer—only for Zach to undercut it with:

“I have a scar too. From when I walked out of The Lake House and bumped into the seat in front of me.”

Moments later, Zach pushed further with a bizarre question:

“I heard you had to have your peen removed?”

A visibly confused Keanu corrected him:

“My what? You mean my spleen?”

Zach deadpanned:

“Damn. I was hoping I could have it.”

Dogstar, MTV Awards, and… Is Neo Jewish?

Zach moved on to Keanu’s former band Dogstar:

“But honestly, the only real dog star was Spuds MacKenzie.”

Then he fired off the most outrageous line of the night:

“In The Matrix, Neo is ‘The Chosen One.’ So… he’s Jewish, right?”

Keanu could only stare and mutter:

“I’m sorry, what?”

Immortality Theory & Keanu’s Poem

Zach even teased the viral theory that Keanu might be immortal:

“Is that why your movies feel like an eternity?”

Keanu shot back with the perfect comeback:

“Well, eternity feels shorter than this.”

Finally, Zach mocked Keanu’s published poem An Ode to Happiness, reading it aloud with exaggerated dramatics, turning the actor’s introspective words into another running gag.

The Verdict

Once again, Between Two Ferns proved why it’s Hollywood’s most brutal “talk show.” Despite Zach’s relentless roast, Keanu Reeves stayed unshakably polite, witty, and cool—earning laughs and admiration from viewers around the world.

Between Two Ferns: The Movie is now streaming on Netflix.