The lights are bright, the crowd buzzing. Stephen Colbert grins at the camera:

“Hey, everybody! You’re joining us for another lovely segment with Jimmy Kimmel. By the way, some people may not know this—I’m on your show tonight! Should we wave to ourselves? Hi! Have a great show.”

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Jimmy laughs.
“Love those guys, good guys.”

Stephen nods, playful.
“Very handsome. I want to thank you for something you did—it shows what kind of fella you are. As soon as we got canceled, you put up this billboard in Los Angeles: ‘I am voting for Stephen.’”

Jimmy smiles, genuine.
“I did vote for you. And everyone on our staff voted for you. I’ll be honest—usually I vote for myself. This year, I voted for you. Originally, the billboard was supposed to say, ‘Would you vote for me if I told you I was dying?’ We were going to put out a rumor that I was dying. But then this terrible thing happened and I thought, you know what, it would be a great statement if Stephen Colbert won the Emmy this year. And sure enough, you did.”

Stephen laughs.
“That’s the only billboard I got.”

Jimmy: “Really?”

Stephen: “The only billboard I got.”

Jimmy teases,
“So—you have eight months left? When are you gonna go nuts? One of those glasses going to come off? When are you going to shake your hair out like the ‘Hot for Teacher’ video? Maybe do some Iowa, Alaska… I have something for you.”

He stands, joking,
“Everybody, nobody look at my ass while I am doing this. Okay. I think this is something you can start using now or wait till the show is over, whatever. I gave it a lot of thought and I think you’re going to like it. It represents New York. This is…”

Stephen examines the gift, puzzled.
“I am trying to figure out what has been mashed together. Lady Liberty… but the flame is on top of her head along with a mouthpiece.”

Jimmy explains,
“It’s a chemistry set.”

Stephen: “Oh, it is. Easy cleaning. After you finish the experiment. You’re very kind.”

Jimmy continues,
“I know you like to read. I don’t know if you have read this.”

Stephen: “I hear good things.”

Jimmy: “I think you’re really going to like it.”

Stephen, grateful,
“Thank you. I will put this to good use. Let me ask—they’re telling me we’ve only got a minute but [bleep] that. What are they going to do, cancel me?”

Jimmy laughs,
“This is you getting wild! I like it.”

Stephen shrugs,
“This is as wild as I get. Ready? Hold on. You do something—Guillermo!”

The crowd erupts. The band launches into “Tequila.” Stephen and Jimmy raise their glasses.

Stephen: “Two good friends, great jobs, and… late-night TV.”

Jimmy: “To Stephen Colbert!”

Stephen: “Thank you.”

Guillermo pours another round.
Jimmy: “Let’s go wild!”

Stephen: “I will do that.”

Jimmy: “One more—to Stephen Colbert!”

The crowd chants,
“Stephen! Stephen! Stephen!”

Stephen smiles,
“James. Guillermo. ‘Jimmy Kimmel Live’ airs weeknights on ABC. The one, the only, the beloved Jimmy Kimmel, everybody. And Guillermo! We’ll be right back with Sam Smith.”