Late-night television thrives on absurd juxtapositions, and Stephen Colbert’s signature segment “Meanwhile…” has become a showcase for the kind of strange, quirky, and occasionally risqué stories that would otherwise never make it into the nightly news. Last night’s installment was a masterclass in rapid-fire comedy, weaving together fossils, swingers, fitness science, pop stars, and even sex toys—all under Colbert’s playful scrutiny.

The segment began with a characteristically oddball scientific discovery: paleontologists studying the Grand Canyon revealed that a “fossilized penis worm” had reshaped their understanding of prehistoric ecosystems. Colbert couldn’t resist the punchline, dubbing the phrase “also the scientific term for Rupert Murdoch,” which drew explosive laughter from the audience.

From there, Colbert pivoted across the Atlantic to a small U.K. town that recently endured an unusual nuisance: a “swingathon” that generated noise complaints due to what residents described as “ear-splitting orgasms.” “Quick PSA,” Colbert quipped, “if you’re having sex and the thing getting split is your ears, you’re doing it wrong.” The event, which included pole dancing, foam parties, hot tubs, and the eyebrow-raising game “Butt-Plug Bingo,” was defended by organizers as wholesome fun—an irony Colbert milked to perfection.

Technology also came under the “Meanwhile…” spotlight, with Meta’s latest wristband that allows users to control devices using hand gestures. Colbert deadpanned that the innovation might impress a Sumerian from 3500 B.C. more than today’s tech-savvy audience.

Shifting to health news, Colbert riffed on a new study suggesting that 7,000 steps a day may be sufficient for improved wellness—down from the widely cited 10,000. “Do I hear six?” he asked, suggesting scientists had simply lowered their expectations for humanity.

Pop culture was not spared. Jennifer Lopez’s new single “Birthday” provided Colbert with ample material. After playing a clip, he mocked the song’s relentless insistence that it was, in fact, her birthday. “I just wish there was some way to tell if it was her birthday,” he deadpanned, before imagining his own decidedly less glamorous birthday anthem about cargo shorts, PBS dramas, and doctor’s orders to avoid cake.

The surreal continued with the arrest of a Florida Chuck E. Cheese employee—in full costume—for credit card fraud. Colbert wondered aloud why police didn’t remove the mascot’s head: “Do the cops think he’s just a big mouse?”

But perhaps the night’s most headline-grabbing punchline came courtesy of Harry Styles, who has launched a line of sex toys under the brand “Pleasing Yourself.” Colbert offered his own suggested name: “One Erection.” The products, Styles’s company explained, could be used solo or with a partner. Colbert imagined the awkwardness of someone realizing their partner might be thinking about Styles mid-romance, before closing with a throwback jab at the “short-lived Simon and Garfunkel nipple clamps.”

The sheer whiplash of Colbert’s “Meanwhile…”—jumping from paleontology to swinger festivals, health advice, pop music, and celebrity sex toys—demonstrates why the segment has become such a fan favorite. It’s not just comedy about the day’s news; it’s a celebration of the weird, the overlooked, and the downright bizarre corners of human life.